True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
