so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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