So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize