she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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