I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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