So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
