Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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