So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I did not marry a roomba.
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