You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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