Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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