Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize