omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
