I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
