and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I didn't shave. On purpose
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
