two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
