You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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