its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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