Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
