dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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