the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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