ya dads aren't the best wingmen
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
