i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
