I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
