the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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