In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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