TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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