do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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