she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
