I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
