You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
