Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
