Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
