dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
