3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize