Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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