Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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