New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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