cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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