how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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