She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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