the condom got lost in my hair
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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