the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So squirting runs in the family.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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