When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
