and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
