maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You are the jesus of drinking
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
