I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
