erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
