i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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