for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
