I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
