butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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