its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
