Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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