I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
