Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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