My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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