This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
